Manly Men for Jesus

a.k.a. Evangelical Kens in Kendom

It’s been a wild couple of weeks for anyone who follows the doings of the Theobros. From rank misogyny to a pissing match, they effectively made caricatures of themselves. Here’s a recap.

Southern Baptist megachurch celebrity pastor Josh Howerton kicked things off with this “gold nugget of advice” delivered to the thousands of women in his congregation:

“When you get to his wedding night … stand where he tells you to stand, wear what he tells you to wear, and do what he tells you to do.”

Howerton’s fans—the people in the pews—applauded as he smirked and strutted. But when Sheila Gregoire posted a video of it on X/Twitter, countless people expressed their disgust with such a demeaning and objectifying view of sex, marriage, male entitlement, and women’s submission.

Howerton doubled down, insisting it was “a joke,” and other evangelicals jumped on board with that, often tossing in the trope that the women, who were objecting to being objectified, were just “too sensitive.”

As the outcry persisted, Howerton tripled down with a non-apology apology, and again, it was the women who were berated. Those who weren’t appreciative of his “discipleship” were labeled as “bad and ungodly women.”

(As it turns out, Howerton’s words of apology were not only non-apologetic, they were also plagiarized. You can see the side-by-side comparison here. Suffice it to say that it’s hard to imagine his words were sincere when they weren’t even his words. But I digress…)

Along came the Stronger Men’s Conference, which is apparently an event for evangelical men to salivate over manly things. As journalist Rick Pidcock described it for Baptist News Global:

“The promo video… opens as a montage of men lifting weights, revving motorcycle engines and boxing. Then as the song soars with lyrics of being “ready to fight,” a wrestler smashes a chair into the head of another man dressed up as a superhero, a monster truck flies through pyrotechnics, a bull rider gets bucked, a cowboy snaps his whip and more chairs get smashed over superhero’s heads interspersed with sermon clips.”

All that “ready to fight” talk may have been a bit too inspirational.

Megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll—of women are “penis homes” fame—took offense at the opening act, which was a bare-chested performance by a sword swallower. Driscoll got up on stage, declared that “the Jezebel Spirit” had opened the event, and proceeded to rant.

Yes… Jezebel was a woman. And yes, the sword swallower was a man. And yes, the whole conference was a men’s event with men in attendance. But this is evangelicalism, so women get blamed regardless. (Really. It’s as simple as that. If you try to make it make sense, you’ll only pull your hair out.)

Then things got a bit heated … as will sometimes happen when manly men abound.

John Lindell, the event organizer, yelled “You’re out of line, Mark!” Driscoll left the stage. But given what a hero Driscoll is to many Theobros, the whole audience seemed to get out of whack. To the sound of a raucous crowd, Lindell took the microphone and said: “If Mark wanted to say that, he should’ve said it to me first. Matthew 18…. He’s out of line.” The crowd booed. Here’s the video:

Rick Pidcock summed it up this way:

“So apparently, what these dishonorable men do when you crown them with pulpits and power, is that they become so obsessed with toxic masculinity that it climaxes into a game of ‘Who’s the King of the Mountain.”  

Meanwhile, in the midst of all this, guess who was enjoying a primo seat for the action? None other than the “do what he tells you to do” guy, SBC pastor Josh Howerton, who posted a picture of Mark Driscoll on the stage. Apparently Howerton is a Driscoll fan. (Thanks to Johnna Harris who posted the screenshot!)

With much-needed levity, Pidcock managed to bring this surreal saga home—to the Mojo Dojo Casa if you will—by comparing these manly men to the Kens of Kendom in the movie Barbie.

“As all of the explosions, punching, chair smashing, tank riding and sword swallowing are happening, one cannot help but be reminded of Ken’s experience with patriarchy in last year’s Barbie movie.

‘Why didn’t Barbie tell me about patriarchy,’ Ken asks, ‘which to my understanding is where men on horses run everything?’ Later, Ken suggests that ‘everything, basically everything exists to expand and elevate the presence of men.’ And his favorite song is ‘I wanna push you around.’

On one hand, the Kens of Kendomland are just like each other. They have the same name, play with the same toys and say the same things. But on the other hand, their passion for ascending up the mountain of patriarchy leads to the big fight as they turn against one another….

When all the Kens get together in the Stronger Men’s Conference Kendomland, there are no women beneath them…. Like Ken, Driscoll stayed up all night seething, while thinking, ‘We go to war … against the Kens.’”

Ryan Gosling as Ken in the movie “Barbie” (Warner Bros.)

Finally, if you’re thinking this is all just some one-time bit of weirdness, think again. When I saw the picture in Pidcock’s article of a tank rolling across the stage, it recalled to mind this Baptist Press story from 2009.

“Dressed in camouflage and stationed as the gunner in a Chenowith Desert Fast Attack Vehicle, Paige Patterson stormed onto the chapel stage. After firing a round of blanks from a .50 caliber Browning machine gun, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary’s president took his place behind the pulpit and initiated operation ‘Taking the Hill.’”

From Paige Patterson to Josh Howerton, the performative, tough-guy, power-hungry version of masculinity has been prominent among evangelical pastors for a long, long time.

Thanks for reading! My new memoir, Baptistland, is now available for pre-order!